Happy Fathers Day. Three words that will never have the same meaning to me ever again. What it used to mean was that it was all about me. This was my day, a day where I could sleep in, have breakfast made for me, get some cool presents and basically be a lazy bum all day, because it was about me, a father. On Nov 23rd, 2007, the meaning changed drastically. I went from a father of three to a father of one in an instant. My girls, Jess and Kelli were gone.
Since that day, several significant events have occurred.
In mid-December, their grandfather (Po), had a stress related stroke that was brought on due to the deaths of the girls. Christmas arrived and yes, there was some happiness but I felt more sadness than anything because the girls were not there. Kelli’s birthday arrived, Jan 1st, and all this father could do was pray and cry. Happy New Year didn’t have the same meaning either. My birthday, Jan 10th, arrived. I got some cool presents from Tony and Wendy but I kept waiting for the back door to open and see the girls walk in and yell “Happy Birthday Dad!” It never happened. Mother’s Day arrived and I know that Kim and Wendy felt differently that day as well. Jessica’s birthday arrived, Jun 4th, and all this father could do was pray and cry.
It is now Jun 15th, Fathers Day. What does Happy Fathers Day mean to me now? It isn’t about me, the presents, sleeping in or being a lazy bum. It is about the joy of children, bringing them into the world, raising them, watching them go through their trials and tribulations, seeing the joy on their faces at Christmas time and their birthdays, being there when they need a shoulder to cry on. It is being thankful to have kids you can love.
It is now Jun 15th, Fathers Day. I will celebrate this day with Tony. We will laugh, play some ball, goof off, but I’ll still be waiting for the back door to open and see the girls walk in and yell “Happy Fathers Day!” I just wish it would happen.
God Bless all the fathers in this world. I love you Jess and Kelli.