Happy Fathers Day. Three words that will never have the same meaning to me ever again. What it used to mean was that it was all about me. This was my day, a day where I could sleep in, have breakfast made for me, get some cool presents and basically be a lazy bum all day, because it was about me, a father. On Nov 23rd, 2007, the meaning changed drastically. I went from a father of three to a father of one in an instant. My girls, Jess and Kelli were gone.
Since that day, several significant events have occurred.
In mid-December, their grandfather (Po), had a stress related stroke that was brought on due to the deaths of the girls. Christmas arrived and yes, there was some happiness but I felt more sadness than anything because the girls were not there. Kelli’s birthday arrived, Jan 1st, and all this father could do was pray and cry. Happy New Year didn’t have the same meaning either. My birthday, Jan 10th, arrived. I got some cool presents from Tony and Wendy but I kept waiting for the back door to open and see the girls walk in and yell “Happy Birthday Dad!” It never happened. Mother’s Day arrived and I know that Kim and Wendy felt differently that day as well. Jessica’s birthday arrived, Jun 4th, and all this father could do was pray and cry.
It is now Jun 15th, Fathers Day. What does Happy Fathers Day mean to me now? It isn’t about me, the presents, sleeping in or being a lazy bum. It is about the joy of children, bringing them into the world, raising them, watching them go through their trials and tribulations, seeing the joy on their faces at Christmas time and their birthdays, being there when they need a shoulder to cry on. It is being thankful to have kids you can love.
It is now Jun 15th, Fathers Day. I will celebrate this day with Tony. We will laugh, play some ball, goof off, but I’ll still be waiting for the back door to open and see the girls walk in and yell “Happy Fathers Day!” I just wish it would happen.
God Bless all the fathers in this world. I love you Jess and Kelli.
I have experienced a lot of death in my lifetime: Grandparents, Mother, brother, a cousin, several Aunts & Uncles, Father-in-Law and a few friends. Was in the military for 20 years and saw things that–well, cant explain. The most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do in my life was carry Jess to her grave.
We’ll see you next weekend at the fundraiser.
Brian, Kim, Wendy, Maddy, Tony, we love you guys.
Brian, Julie, Andy (Kayla), & Krieg
I do not know you, but I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. There is nothing in this world worse than losing a child. Our youngest daughter was murdered on Father’s Day, 2002.
May GOD bless you and your family and please know that your beautiful daughters are in HEAVEN looking down on you. I love the song Holes in the Floor of Heaven.
Jean
This just breaks my heart! I lost my husband in a motor vehicle accident in Nov 2004. (The MLK Bridge accident. van vs semi) This was due to a drowsy driver driving the van. I miss Robert every single day. There are no words to express the pain you feel when you find out about things like this. Your world stops turning and your heart just aches. I feel so deeply for you!
Brian,
I can only imagine the pain that you have experienced. You and your family are in my thoughts & prayers.
I hope that time will help lessen your pain.
God Bless,
– Bob